BACK ROOF 6'2m0f They lowered a paralyzed man through the roof (panting, shuffling, struggling) MANNY -- Hang in there, Harvey, we're almost there. We're almost there, aren't we, Larry? LARRY -- Yes, we're almost there, Manny. MANNY -- See, Harvey? We're almost there. LARRY -- I didn't think Harvey was this heavy. MANNY -- Well, we've carried him all the way across town, Larry. Anybody would seem heavy after you carry him across town. You probably hurt Harvey's feelings, Larry. Don't you think you should apologize to him. LARRY -- Manny, Harvey, is unconscious, he's been unconscious for three years. How can I hurt his feelings if he can't hear a word I say? MANNY -- It's a shame about the accident, isn't it, Larry? LARRY -- Manny, you say that every day, like it just happened yesterday. MANNY -- Well, I feel guilty. It was my fault. I'm so accident prone. LARRY -- Try not to think about it, Manny. Try to think about what life will be like after Jesus heals Harvey. MANNY -- Yeah, that'll be exciting won't it? I swear, if Jesus heals Harvey, I will never throw a horseshoe over my shoulder for good luck again. Poor Harvey. LARRY -- Here we are. That's the house, there. (low rumbling crowd noise) MANNY -- Oh, man! I knew we'd be too late. Look. There are so many people, they're standing in the doorway and watching through the windows. Oh, man! Now, Harvey will NEVER be healed. LARRY -- Don't be such a pessemist, Manny. We'll just excuse ourselves and work our way in the door. MANNY -- You lead the way, Larry. LARRY -- Okay, here we go. Excuse me, please. Excuse me. Hey, can you let us by? Well, that didn't work. MANNY -- Let me try, Larry. Excuse me, please, Excuse me. Can I get by here. LARRY -- Watch out Manny, the meeting is starting and they're closing the door. Manny! Harvey's hand is going to get caught in the... (loud crunch) door. MANNY -- Oh, gee, Harvey, I did it again. I'm such a klutz. I'm sorry, Harvey, I'm so sorry. LARRY -- Save it, Manny. He can't hear you. Let's take him around back. Maybe there's a back door. MANNY -- Good idea, Larry, let's try the back door. Hey, Harvey, we're going to try to get you in through the back door. After Jesus is through with his sermon, he usually heals people. I'm sure he can heal you, Harvey. Geez, Larry, look at that hand. It's all swollen. LARRY -- Don't worry, Manny, I'm sure that the guy who created the universe can heal a swollen hand. MANNY -- I'm so sorry, Harv. LARRY -- Save it, Manny. He can't hear you. MANNY -- Oh, yeah. LARRY -- Well, the back door is jammed up too, Manny. Let's take him up this ladder to the roof. These flat roofed houses usually have a stairway inside leading up to the roof. MANNY -- Oh, yeah, good idea, Larry. LARRY -- We'll have to tie him onto the stretcher and then one of us can pull him up from the roof, while the other pushes him up the ladder. MANNY -- Okay, Larry, you lead the away. Hey, Harvey, we're going to lift you up to the roof and then bring you down the stairway. It's just a matter of time before Jesus can heal you, Harvey, boy. Oh, man! Look at that hand! It's all black and blue. Geez, Harv, I'm so sorry. LARRY -- (afar) Okay, I'm up. I'll pull, you push... and be sure to keep Harvey's head away from the rungs of the ladder. (thud) MANNY -- Oh, man! I did it again. I'm so sorry, Harv. LARRY -- (afar) Save it, he can't hear you. Just keep pushing. And keep his head away from the... (thud, thud) ... ladder. Larry! MANNY -- Oh, Man! I'm sorry, Harv. Oh, man! LARRY -- (afar) Keep pushing and be careful. MANNY -- I am such a klutz. (thud) Oh, man! Larry, I'm not sure this was such a good idea. LARRY -- (afar) Keep pushing, Manny. We're almost there. MANNY -- Okay, Larry. Sorry, Harv. LARRY -- (near) Here we are. Now, let's see about the stairway... Just our luck. No stairway. MANNY -- Oh, man! Now what are we going to do? LARRY -- We'll pull up a couple of the roof boards here and lower Harvey by the rope through the roof. (creaking lumber) MANNY -- Good idea, Larry. (creaking lumber) Did you hear that, Harvey? We're going to lower you through a hole in the... Oh man! LARRY -- What's the matter? MANNY -- Look at the size of the lumps on Harvey's head. Oh man! Harvey, I am so sorry! LARRY -- Save it, Manny,... MANNY -- I know he can't hear me. But when he wakes up he'll probably never talk to me again. (creaking lumber) LARRY -- There! That hole should be big enough for Harvey. MANNY -- Oh, yeah, I can see Jesus down there. He's already started healing people, Larry. We should hurry. Or Jesus will be gone before Harvey gets down there. LARRY -- Alright, I'll guide him through the hole, you hold the rope. MANNY -- Hurry, Larry. Hurry! LARRY -- Okay,... I'll... just... guide... his... feet... first... and then... MANNY -- Hurry! Larry! LARRY -- Take up the slack! MANNY -- What slack? LARRY -- Don't you have the rope? MANNY -- I thought you had the... (whoosh, whistle, thud) ...rope. Oh, man! I did it again. (shouts) I'm sorry, Harvey! LARRY -- It's okay, Manny. He landed right in front of Jesus. MANNY -- Look, Larry, look! Jesus healed him! Harvey is awake! LARRY -- Isn't that amazing! MANNY -- Jesus just said some words and Harvey woke up! LARRY -- Praise God. MANNY -- (shouts) Hey, Harvey, we're up here. Hi. He's not smiling, Larry. LARRY -- Manny, watch out for that loose.... (whoosh, whistle, thud) lumber. MANNY -- (shouts) Sorry, Harvey. LARRY -- It's okay, Jesus just healed all of his lumps and his hand too. MANNY -- Praise God, ha, Lare? LARRY -- Praise God. (beat) Well, let's hurry down and thank Jesus before he leaves. MANNY -- Yeah, let's hurry down. Oh, wait a minute. Hey, Larry, I forgot to tell you I moved the.... LARRY -- (fall away scream) Aaaaah! (Thud) MANNY -- ...ladder. Oh, Man! I did it again (shouts) Are you okay, Lare? LARRY -- (afar) That's it! I've had it. I'm out of here. MANNY -- (shouts) Where are you going, Larry? Jesus is in the house here. Larry? (normal voice) Oh, man! I did it again. Oh, Man! (beat) Oh, well, I'll try to catch up with him later. I'd better go down and try to apologize to Harvey. It was a shame about the ladder. It was right here.... (fall away scream) Wooooo! (thud) (moans) Wow. It's a good thing something stopped my fall. Harvey? Oh, Harvey, I didn't see you standing there, I swear. Oh, Harvey, I am so sorry. Harvey? Harvey! Oh, man! ©2001 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |