BACK

BLIND2   3'2m0f Interrogation of blind man who now sees

COP ----- (hardened cop, Brooklyn accent, enters with Harold in
tow)

HAROLD -- (wimpy) Please officer, I'm telling you, I didn't do 
anything.

COP ----- (sits him in chair) Save the sob stories for the 
judge, fella. Just tell me what you know.

HAROLD -- Alright, alright. What do you want to know?

PARTNER - (hardened cop, Brooklyn accent, enters opposite 
carrying file folder and pen) This the perp?

HAROLD -- Perp? Does that mean you think I'm a perpetrator? What 
am I supposed to have done?

PARTNER - We'll ask the questions around here, fella. 

COP ----- Let's start at the top. What's your name?

HAROLD -- My name is Harold Nillman. (looks at what Partner is 
writing) That's spelled with two L's.

PARTNER - Don't hand me that, buddy. 

HAROLD -- One L would be fine.

PARTNER - I'm not talking about the spelling of your name, you 
numskull. 

COP ----- Harold Nillman is the name of the blind man who used 
to sit at the city gate and beg for money.

PARTNER - But he hasn't been seen at the city gate for three 
days. 

COP ----- What do you know about his disappearance?

HAROLD -- Oh, he didn't disappear.

COP ----- Wrong answer. 

PARTNER - So far your record is clean, fella. How about a year
in jail for obstruction of justice?

HAROLD -- Obstruction of justice?

COP ----- If you tell the truth, we'll go easy on you. Now, 
where is Harold Nillman.

HAROLD -- I'm Harold Nillman.

COP ----- Wrong answer. 

PARTNER - How about another year in jail for filing a false 
police report?

HAROLD -- I think I'll change my name.

COP ----- Alright, if you are Harold Nillman, how did you get 
your sight back?

HAROLD -- It was Jesus of Nazareth. He healed me.

COP ----- Did he use surgery or medicine?

HAROLD -- Neither. He used dirt and spit.

COP ----- Wrong answer. 

PARTNER - How about another year in jail.

HAROLD -- Is it a felony to use the word SPIT in public?

COP ----- You expect me to believe a doctor would use dirt and 
spit to cure blindness?

HAROLD -- Oh, Jesus is not a doctor.

COP ----- He cured your blindness, but he's not a doctor?

HAROLD -- No. He's a rabbi.

COP ----- A rabbi. So, it was a spiritual healing?

HAROLD -- Yeah, I guess so.

COP ----- Now we're getting somewhere!

HAROLD -- Can I go now?

COP ----- If it was a spiritual healing, that means that either 
you or your parents have been involved with some big time sin. 
So, what are you covering up?

HAROLD -- I'm not covering up anything.

COP ----- Wrong answer. 

PARTNER - How about another year in jail for withholding 
evidence.

HAROLD -- The Jews always thought that my blindness was caused 
by sin. But Jesus said that the reason I was blind was so that 
he might heal me and prove that he is the messiah.

COP ----- The messiah?! Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe 
that Jesus is the messiah.

HAROLD -- Yes?

COP ----- Wrong answer. 

PARTNER - How about another year in jail for assault on a police 
officer? Right now you're looking at a total of six years in 
jail.

HAROLD -- I'd like to change my story. This one doesn't seem to 
be working.

COP ----- That's more like it. 

PARTNER - I knew he'd open up.

COP ----- Alright, let's take it from the top.

HAROLD -- Well, first of all, my name IS Harold Nillman, (pulls 
sun glasses from shirt pcoket, puts them on) but I'm still 
blind. (stands, moves to exit with arms forward) I have to get 
back to the city gate now, so I can beg for money.

COP ----- Wrong answer.

PARTNER - That's it, buddy, you're going to jail for life. 

HAROLD -- Life?! What did I do?

(all exiting)

COP ----- Just tell us where you buried the body.

HAROLD -- Body?! What body?

©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.fea.net/bobsnook  email: bobsnook@fea.net

BACK