BACK ZECHARI2 5'1m?f Monologue: Zechariah on John the Baptist FLOYD -- (Austrian, Jewish accent, enters with phone to ear, carrying notebook, crosses to podium) Yah, Hallo, zis is Dr Signmond Floyd. May I speak to Zechariah? Zechariah, my name is Dr Sigmond Floyd. The high priest at the temple asked me to consult with you. He says that you are unable to speak but the doctors can't find anything physically wrong with you. Is that right?... Is that right? Oh, of course. You can't speak. I tell you what, if the answer is yes, tap on the phone once. If the answer is no, tap on the phone twice, okay? Good. Alright, now, Zechariah, (reads) according to your high priest, until nine months ago, you worked as a priest at the temple? Uh huh. And at that time while you were burning incense in the Holy Place you lost your ability to speak? Uh huh. And nine months of medical treatments have been completely ineffective? Uh huh. And according to the battery of mental tests and personality assessments, you have no apparent phobias or psychoses? Uh huh. So, perhaps you suffered an allergic reaction to the incense? No? Well, then, let me look at the comments written by your wife. Her name is Elizabeth? Uh huh. According to her, you were "visited by an angel of the Lord?" (aside) Very Interesting. Delusions of grandeur. I wonder why this disorder did not show up on the assessment. Oh, I'm sorry. I was just talking to myself. According to Elizabeth, it was the angel who made you speechless because of your lack of faith. Uh huh. (aside) These religious manifestations are the worst kind to deal with. They are very slow to respond to treatment. Oh, I'm sorry. I was just talking to myself. Let's get back to your wife's statement. "The angel promised that your wife would give birth to a prophet of God on the order of Elijah." Uh huh. (aside) Very Interesting. Delusions of grandeur and delusions of persecution in the same individual. Say, this case could make me famous! Oh, I'm sorry. I was just talking to myself. Zechariah, I don't want to alarm you, but there hasn't been a true prophet of God in Israel since the prophet Isaiah. That's over 400 years. The likelihood that you had a true visitation from a spirit being is, to say the least, highly unlikely. No. You disagree? Let's get back to your wife's statement. She says, "The long awaited messiah of Israel will be born just after my son. He is a relative of mine." Uh huh. The messiah of Israel, the long awaited messiah, the annointed one of God is a relative of your wife? Uh huh. Zechariah, it looks like your wife shares your delusions. I need to help you both to get back on the road to reality. First of all, the messiah will be a manifestation of the Lord God Almighty himself. He will not be born like a common man. Any idiot knows that. And second, according to your file, your wife is over sixty years old. She is well beyond the age where she could bear children. It would take a miracle for her to. Why are you tapping? I haven't asked you a question. Quit with the tapping already! Are you saying that your wife will definitely give birth or that it's a miracle? Yes? To both questions? Zechariah, you are living in a fantasy world. Your return to reality will require slightly more stringent treatment. I'm going to prescribe that you both be institutionalized and placed in restraints lest you hurt yourself and others.... Just a moment. I have a call on the other line. (pushes button on phone) Madaline, please! I gave strict orders not to be disturbed! I have a consultation on the other line. Oh. Zechariah's wife just had a baby? I'll let him know. (pushes button on phone) Well, Zechariah, the call on the other line was to announce the birth of your baby. I guess your wife is NOT too old to have a baby after all. (shouts) WHAT! Who is this?! It CAN'T be Zechariah! He can't speak. YOU are Zechariah. And you can speak? Now that the baby is born. Uh huh. His name is John? They will call him John the Baptist? Who are you talking about? The baby. The baby your wife just gave birth to. That's his name? John? John the Baptist? Uh huh. Well, I know. I have your wife's statement right here. (reads) "The angel promised that your wife would give birth to a prophet of God on the order of Elijah." Uh huh. Well! It looks like my therapy worked! Both of you have had a remarkable recovery. Hello? Hello? He hung up. (exiting) After all I've done for him. ©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |