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WIDOW    5'1m1f Elijah seeks shelter at a Widow's house

ELIJAH -- (wimpy, enters, crosses, shouts to exit) Hello? Is 
anybody home? Hello?

WIDOW --- (worldly wise, weary, enters) Yes, what is it?

ELIJAH -- Hi, I'm here.

WIDOW --- And who might you be?

ELIJAH -- It's me, Elijah.

WIDOW --- So?

ELIJAH -- Aren't you expecting me?

WIDOW --- Why would I be expecting you?

ELIJAH -- God sent me.

WIDOW --- Oh, well, in that case... (turns to exit)

ELIJAH -- Where are you going?

WIDOW --- (turns) You're selling something and I don't have any 
money. Goodbye. (turns to exit)

ELIJAH -- Wait. I'm not selling anything. Honest.

WIDOW --- (turns) So, what are you doing here?

ELIJAH -- The Lord told me to go to Zaraphath. This IS 
Zaraphath, isn't it?

WIDOW --- Yes.

ELIJAH -- And you ARE a widow, aren't you?

WIDOW --- Yes.

ELIJAH -- Good. Then I'm the one you were expecting.

WIDOW --- I wasn't expecting anyone. 

ELIJAH -- The Lord was supposed to... Well, how can I put this? 
You're supposed to take me in, feed me and give me a place to 
sleep.

WIDOW --- Feed you? With what? I was just going to take the last 
of my flour and oil and make my last meal.

ELIJAH -- Last meal. What do you mean "last meal"?

WIDOW --- I have enough flour and oil to make one biscuit for my 
son and me. Then, he and I are going to starve to death.

ELIJAH -- Oh, dear, the Lord didn't say anything about...

WIDOW --- So, you're looking for a place to room and board, heh? 
How do I know that you can pay? What do you do for a living?

ELIJAH -- I'm a prophet.

WIDOW --- Oh, brother. (turns to exit)

ELIJAH -- Wait! What have you got against prophets?

WIDOW --- (turns) Nothing, except that they never make a profit, 
if you know what I mean.

ELIJAH -- Well, actually, I don't know what you mean. Queen 
Jezebel killed all the prophets in Israel, except me. 

WIDOW --- What I mean is, how much money do you have?

ELIJAH -- And I don't have any money, but the Lord...

WIDOW --- You'll pardon me for my lack of enthusiasm for the 
Lord, but he hasn't done much for me lately. So, if you'll 
excuse me... (turns to exit)

ELIJAH -- Wait! Maybe if you let me in, the Lord will provide, 
so you won't have to starve.

WIDOW --- (turns) You think maybe the Lord will give you a job?

ELIJAH -- Well, anything is possible.

WIDOW --- What kind of work did you do before you came here?

ELIJAH -- Well, actually, I didn't work.

WIDOW --- Well, what did you ACTUALLY do to eat?

ELIJAH -- Well, actually, I didn't do anything. The crows fed 
me.

WIDOW --- The Crows... fed you.

ELIJAH -- Yeah, they brought me meat and bread every day. And I 
drank out of the stream.

WIDOW --- And you liked mooching off these poor crows?

ELIJAH -- Well, I didn't mind it. I'd still be there, but the 
drought dried up the stream.

WIDOW --- I see you're a man of great ambition.

ELIJAH -- I think the Lord wants me to do a miracle in this 
house.

WIDOW --- (sigh) Alright, I'm listening.

ELIJAH -- Even though your flour jar is almost empty now, (holds 
up hand) the Lord will never let your flour jar become empty. 
There. How's that?

WIDOW --- So, what you're saying is, if I let you in and feed 
you my last biscuit, MAYBE I'll have more flour in the jar for 
me and my son?

ELIJAH -- Yeah, that's about it.

WIDOW --- You can't be serious.

ELIJAH -- The Lord also told me that I will raise your son from 
the dead.

WIDOW --- Look, I don't know how to tell you this, but my son is 
not dead. 

ELIJAH -- In a few months, your son will become sick and die and 
I will raise him from the dead.

WIDOW --- Right. Look, if you're really a prophet, then you can 
make it rain. You know, the reason we're starving to death is 
because of this cursed drought.

ELIJAH -- Yes, I know.

WIDOW --- You know.

ELIJAH -- Yes, I caused the drought.

WIDOW --- YOU caused the drought?

ELIJAH -- Yes, I declared that it would not rain for three years 
and it stopped raining.

WIDOW --- Right. (turns to exit) Well, come back when you make 
it rain.

ELIJAH -- (points at sky)

(thunder)

WIDOW --- (turns, looks up, backs out exit) Come right in.

ELIJAH -- Thank you. (turns out exit, looking up) And thank YOU.


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