BACK ANGELS 6'0m3f Guardian angels are just airy-fairy... right? CINDY -- (enters with Bible, sits in chair DC, reads, while the two angels interact behind her) ANGEL -- (worldly, sly, enters looks both ways while crossing to Cindy, rolls up sleeves, raises hands, as if she's about to cast a spell on Cindy) GRACE -- (naive, enters, sees Angel) Excuse me.... ANGEL -- (freezes, looks around, caught with hands raised, smooths own hair) You talking to me? GRACE -- Yes, I think there's been a mistake. I think she's... ANGEL -- You can see me? GRACE -- Well, of course, I can see you. Angels can see everything, including other angels. But, I'm afraid we've got our wires crossed. ANGEL -- We do? GRACE -- Yes. (pulls slip of paper from pocket) According to this dispatch sheet, Cindy, here, has been assigned to me. (points to paper) See? But it looks like YOU were already assigned to her. You ARE an angel, aren't you? ANGEL -- Yes, of course. Well, it looks like they went and did it again. GRACE -- What do you mean? ANGEL -- The dispatchers are always issuing dupes. GRACE -- Dupes? ANGEL -- Duplicate assignments. Two angels for one human being. Dupes. You know. GRACE -- I thought everything in Heaven was perfect. How could they... ANGEL -- You must be new at this GUARDIAN angel business, aren't you? GRACE -- Well, yes. I used to be in the chorus of the Heavenly Host. But they reassigned me to guard duty. (points at Cindy) Cindy is my first assignment. (smiles nervously) ANGEL -- I've guarded Cindy since she became a Christian. You'd better go back to dispatch and tell them about the dupe. (turns to Cindy as soon as Grace turns away) GRACE -- (pause) Oh.... alright... (points offstage) I'll just go back to dispatch and (begins to exit) tell them about the, ah,... (turns back, snaps fingers expectantly) about the, ah,... ANGEL -- The dupe. It happens all the time, especially to new guardian angels. (fans the air at Grace) Hurry along, now. Some poor human is probably going without a guardian angel because of this mess up. (turns to Cindy as soon as Grace turns away, raises hands) GRACE -- (turns to exit) Yes, I should probably hurry... (stops, turns back) Oh. I need to know your name. ANGEL -- (caught with hands raised, freezes, smooth own hair) My name? GRACE -- Yes, I'm sure the dispatcher will want to know who's guarding Cindy. ANGEL -- They already have me listed. It's in the book. You hurry along now. You've got to get reassigned. (turns to Cindy as soon as Grace turns away) GRACE -- Yes, I guess you're right. (turns to exit, stops, turns back) Listen, I hate to be a pest, but, if they assigned me to the wrong human being -- you know, a DUPE -- they may have accidentally removed your name from the book. So, what was your name? ANGEL -- (caught with hands raised, smooths hair) Huh? GRACE -- Your name? ANGEL -- Ah, Angel. GRACE -- Angel? As in... BOTH --- Guardian Angel. ANGEL -- That's right. GRACE -- That's cute. What a cute name. (shakes Angel's hand vigorously, smile) Nice to meet you, Angel. My name is Grace. ANGEL -- (pries hand away, looks at watch) Gee, look at the time. You'd better get going. (turns to Cindy as soon as Grace turns away) GRACE -- Oh, yes. (turns to exit) I'm sure I'll get used to the routine some day. This is all very confusing. (stops, turns back) By the way, Angel, when were you assigned to Cindy? ANGEL -- (caught again, smooths hair, irritated) What difference does it make? GRACE -- Well, I don't know how this works. But, if they can't find your name, they may have to cross-reference it with the date that you were assigned to Cindy. ANGEL -- All human beings are assigned a guardian angel when they accept (unconfortable) J.... when they accept (unconfortable) J.... when they convert to the faith. I've been guarding Cindy since Easter of 1995. GRACE -- (tilts head) That's funny. They told me that she just accepted Jesus... ANGEL -- (gasps) GRACE -- ...as her personal savior. What's the matter? ANGEL -- Nothing. It's just an allergy. (pats her own chest) GRACE -- Well, I may be new to the guardian business, but I'm not new to being an angel. And I know that angels don't have allergies. This is a joke, right?.... (points at Angel, smiles) Something they do to new recruits? ANGEL -- Yeah, yeah, that's it. GRACE -- (smiles) I knew it. That's very funny. So, why did you gasp when I said the name of Jesus? ANGEL -- (gasps) GRACE -- There. You did it again. ANGEL -- No, I didn't. GRACE -- Yes, you did. Jesus. ANGEL -- (gasps) GRACE -- See? That proves it. Jesus. ANGEL -- (gasps) Will you stop that!? GRACE -- Why? I love the name of Jesus. ANGEL -- (gasps) GRACE -- When I was in the chorus of the Heavenly Host we sang the name of Jesus... ANGEL -- (gasps) GRACE -- ...all the time. (sings to audience, while Angel covers her ears) Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name... ANGEL -- (irritated) Shouldn't you be going now? GRACE -- (stops singing, looks to Angel) Huh? ANGEL -- (irritated) I said, shouldn't you be going now? We're all quite familiar with that stupid song. GRACE -- You're not an angel of light. ANGEL -- I am too. I'm as light as light can be. GRACE -- I may be new at this guardian stuff, but it doesn't take a genious to notice that you can't speak the name of the Lord J... ANGEL -- (holds ears, interrupts)...Shouldn't you be going now? GRACE -- You not only can't speak his name, but you can't stand to hear it either. Jesus. ANGEL -- (gasps, grabs own throat, holds up hand to stop Grace) Stop it! GRACE -- You're an angel alright. But you're an angel of darkness. ANGEL -- (smiles) Well, sister, I guess I underestimated you. GRACE -- Don't call me sister. You're no sister of mine. The training supervisor said you demons were devious, but I had no idea. You were going to fill Cindy's mind with worldly thoughts so she wouldn't grow in the Lord, weren't you? ANGEL -- Hey, no hard feelings. It's my job. GRACE -- You should leave now. ANGEL -- (points at the top of Grace's head) Say, is your halo on crooked or is just me? (while grace is distracted, points at Cindy, twirls finger in small circles) GRACE -- My halo? (looks up, feels for halo) Angels don't have halos. That just something they showed in paintings to... CINDY -- (looks up from book) Where in the world did that thought come from? GRACE -- (irritated, hands on hips, shakes head, sighs) Very clever. (turns, bends over speaks in Cindy's ear) It's okay, Cindy. A thought is not a sin. Set it aside and get back to your Bible. CINDY -- I guess it's not a sin to have a thought come into my mind. Oh, well... (shrugs, resumes reading) GRACE -- (to Angel, points to exit) Now, you'd better leave. ANGEL -- (points at Grace's legs) Say, I hate to mention this but your slip is showing. (while Grace is distracted, points at Cindy, twirls finger in small circles) GRACE -- (looks down, turns in both directions) Where? No, it isn't. My slip isn't show.... CINDY -- (looks up from Bible) There it goes again. I haven't thought about that is years. GRACE -- (irritated, points at Angel) You are clever. You are really clever. (bends, speaks in Cindy's ear) It's okay, Cindy. It was just a thought. Set it aside and get back to your Bible.... CINDY -- (shrugs, resumes reading) GRACE -- (to Angel) You'd better leave now. ANGEL -- (smiles) Why? This is kind of fun. (points at Cindy) GRACE -- (steps between Angel and Cindy) I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. ANGEL -- (gasps, grabs throat, backs toward exit) Oh, sure, now you play dirty. I dare you to rebuke me in somebody else's name. GRACE -- (follows, singing, as both exit) Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name... CINDY -- (looks at watch) Oh, oh, time to go. (stands, exits, singing) Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name... ©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |