BACK DEDUCE 6'?m2f Go where the evidence leads, except evolution (light cue: dim to dark) LIZ -- (enters bent at waist, carrying flashlight, tape recorder with headphones and microphone, straightens, crosses slowly, moving microphone left and right) (light cue: fade up 50%) AMY -- (follows at a distance bent at waist, carrying flashlight, straightens, notices Liz, sneaks up, talks into microphone without Liz noticing) Hello, Professor Johnson. LIZ -- (startled) Yaouw! (pulls off headphones) Tizdale, you miserable... AMY -- Fancy meeting you here. Looks like you're studying bats again, huh? LIZ -- It's my area of expertise. What are you doing in MY cave? AMY -- Oh, I'm studying the dung beetles that feed on bat droppings. LIZ -- How very appropriate. AMY -- Professor Johnson, do I detect a note of hostility? LIZ -- Tizdale, you have been a thorn in my side since you joined the faculty. Can't you find another cave to study those silly bugs? AMY -- Actually, as you know, there aren't that many bat caves in this area. I'm afraid we'll be sharing this cave for a while. LIZ -- Well, just stay away from me while I'm recording. AMY -- So, what are you recording? LIZ -- This is a bat cave. What do you think I'm recording? AMY -- Well, I assumed that you were recording bats. I was just curious whether you were recording their sonar sounds for navigation or predation. LIZ -- Are you trying to impress me with your knowledge of bat sonar? AMY -- No, but if you're interested in how they avoid objects in the dark, there's a bat coming right at you. LIZ -- (ducks) Where! AMY -- You don't have to duck, Professor Johnson. Bats are very good at avoiding things in the dark. LIZ -- I know that! I'm a world expert in bat sonar, Tizdale! This happens whenever you're around me! AMY -- What happens? LIZ -- You push my buttons! What am I going to have to do to get you off my faculty, Tizdale?! AMY -- We could make another wager. LIZ -- No! Every time I make a wager with you, I end up in church! AMY -- Oh, by the way. Our pastor is studying the Book of Genesis now. Would you like to come an hear about creation? LIZ -- That's very funny, Tizdale! But I'm not going to let you rile me. Every time you rile me, we end up in a wager and I end up in church! Now, stay away from me while I'm recording! (puts on head phones) AMY -- (picking up stone) Oh, what's this? LIZ -- (pulls off head phones) What is it now Tizdale? AMY -- It's an interesting stone. Here. (offers stone to Liz, shines light on stone) LIZ -- (examines for a fraction of a second) This is no ordinary stone, Tizdale, this is an arrow head! You don't have to be an archaeologist to know an arrow head when you see one! AMY -- An arrow head. LIZ -- Yes. AMY -- How do you know it's not just a stone? LIZ -- You can't really be that stupid, Tizdale. Look at the way the stone has been chipped away to form a point, look at the sharp edges, look at the indentation here, where the arrow head is tied onto the arrow's wooden shaft. AMY -- Oh, I see. So, what you're saying is that if an object appears to have a purpose, then it is probably the object of intelligent design. LIZ -- Exactly. Now, do you mind if I get back to recording my... (puts on headphones) AMY -- ...excuse me. LIZ -- (removes head phones) What is it now?! AMY -- What were you recording again? LIZ -- I told you, I'm recording navigation sounds from bats. AMY -- And these bats, do they emit these sounds for a purpose? LIZ -- You can't be that stupid, Tizdale. Everybody knows that bats emit high pitched sounds to echo-locate objects in the dark. AMY -- That's pretty sophisticated technology, isn't it, Professor Johnson? LIZ -- (sigh) If you must know, a bat can locate tiny flying insects at great distances and catch them while flying at 30 miles per hour, all in complete darkness. AMY -- Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a feat that still can't be duplicated after 6000 years of human technology, isn't it? LIZ -- That's correct. Why this sudden fascination with bats? AMY -- So, there's a purpose to bat sonar. LIZ -- I just said that! AMY -- So, by definition bat sonar must have been the object of intelligent design. LIZ -- Tizdale, you're trying to rile me again, aren't you? AMY -- No. I'm after the truth. You said that this stone was obviously the object of intelligent design because it's shape suggests a purpose. LIZ -- Yes I did. AMY -- So, bat sonar, which serves a much more sophisticated purpose must be the object of a much more intelligent designer. LIZ -- No! It is the object of evolution, which only looks like design. AMY -- And your evidence is... LIZ -- I don't need any evidence. The theory of evolution is a proven fact. AMY -- And the proof of evolution is... LIZ -- I don't need any evidence. We operate on the assumption that evolution is true. If evolution is not true, the only other explanation is untenable. AMY -- The only other explanation is an intelligent designer. LIZ -- I suppose it is. AMY -- If an arrow head is so obviously the result of intelligent design, why is it so difficult to conclude that a much more sophisticated design like bat sonar or even a bat's wing is the work of a sophisticated designer? LIZ -- You're not going to rile me, Tizdale! You're not! AMY -- I'm not trying to rile you, Professor Johnson. I just asked a question. You follow the evidence to where in leads in every other area of science. But when it leads to an intelligent designer greater than man or animals, you won't follow the evidence to where it leads. Why not? LIZ -- Because the intelligent designer is God. And if I admitted that, I would have to act like God exists. There! Are you happy now!? AMY -- I'm happy. Are you? LIZ -- (turns to exit) Alright. Come on! AMY -- Where are you going? (follows) LIZ -- I'm going to church. That's where I'll end up anyway. (light cue: dim to dark) ©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |