BACK FAMILY 5'1m5f Spiritual warfare, Satan attacks families (scene: conference table, six chairs. Demons enter singly or in pairs speaking silently, sit) ASIA --- Did you hear? AUS ---- Hear what? Nobody ever tells me anything. ASIA --- Japan just surrendered. World War two is over. SOAM --- Oh, oh, the boss is really going to be hopping mad. ASIA --- (points) Shshshsh, here he comes. SATAN -- (enters calmly) Alright, I guess we're all here. This meeting will come to order. (pounds fist on table) ALL ---- (lurch, eye one another nervously) SATAN -- (shakes finger) If I don't hear some good news, you demons are in BIG trouble. Do I make myself clear? (pounds fist on table) ALL ---- (lurch, eye one another nervously) Yes, sir. SATAN -- (calmly) Let's begin with Europe. EUROPE - The news from Europe isn't all bad, Lucifer. True, there is peace now. But let's remember that fifty-five million people died in the war. ALL ---- (nods and speak affirmations) SATAN -- (pounds fist on table) May I remind you that the purpose of the war was to kill off the Jews and the Christians? EUROPE - I know boss. SATAN -- And how many are left? EUROPE - Two thirds of the Jews and hundreds of millions of Christians. SATAN -- (pounds fist on table) ALL ---- (lurch, eye one another nervously) EUROPE - Listen, boss. Most of the churches in Europe were either destroyed or damaged in World War Two. Only about two percent Europeans go to church now. Christians are not much of a threat in my zone anymore, boss. SATAN -- Then where are all these Christian? ASIA --- Not in Asia. AFRICA - Not in Africa. AUS ---- Not in Australia. SOAM --- Not in South America. (all eyes on NOAM) NOAM --- It's not my fault, boss. America is a Christian nation, founded on Christian principles. They won World War Two by singing (sings) "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, praise the Lord.... SATAN -- (pounds fist on table) I know the song. NOAM --- Sorry, boss. SATAN -- Demons, by my calculation, we have just over fifty years left until Jesus comes back to take his church home to Heaven. And when he comes back I want his church to be empty. Do I make myself clear? ALL ---- Yes, sir. SATAN -- Now, how are we going to do that? NOAM --- It's not going to be easy, boss. It isn't like (points) Europe or (points) South America where one church runs the whole continent. In those places all we had to do is corrupt one organization and the whole church kind of fell apart. In America there's lots of small churches. Everybody reads the Bible for themselves. They don't take their marching orders from one guy. SATAN -- (pounds fist on table) Don't tell me what you can't do. Tell me what you CAN do. AFRICA - Maybe we should introduce Islam in America, boss. It worked in North Africa and Southwest Asia. NOAM --- Naw, that won't work. These Americans pass down their faith from father to son, mother to daughter. That's how they've resisted our attacks for almost 200 years. It's a FAMILY thing. SATAN -- Then, we'll go after the family. NOAM --- I don't get it. SATAN -- Obviously not. You haven't made any progress in North America in 200 years. NOAM --- Sorry, boss. It's not like we haven't tried. SATAN -- Alright, demons, let's hear some ideas for dismantling American families. EUROPE - How about television? AUS ---- Television? What's that? EUROPE - It was invented during the war. It's a way to bring live pictures into the family's living room. Once we get them hooked on entertainment, instead of interacting with one another, the kids will get their values from the television rather than from their parents. SATAN -- Good. Let's hear another idea. ASIA --- They could do what we do in communist countries. We could use the schools to preach values, rather than teach reading, writing and arithmetic. SATAN -- Good. The first thing we have to do is outlaw prayer in schools. ASIA --- Good idea, boss. AFRICA - Hey, boss, how about if we raise taxes so that both the mother and the father have to work outside the home? That way the parents won't spend as much time with their kids. They can't pass on their values if they don't spend much time with them. SATAN -- Now you've got the ball rolling. NOAM --- How about if we make it easier to break up a family? How about if we create the "no-fault" divorce law. SATAN -- Good idea. That leaves them with one less parent to pass on their values. I like it. I like it a lot! AUS ---- Let's go one step further, boss. How about if we make it more attractive not to have a family at all? SATAN -- Keep talking. AUS ---- We could promote homosexuality, living together outside of marriage, free-love, that sort of thing. We'll make them sound more attractive by calling them "alternate lifestyles". SATAN -- We're on a roll now. Keep going! SOAM --- We could not only make them SOUND legitimate, we could actually make "alternate lifestyles" legal and financially attractive. NOAM --- How do we do that? SOAM --- We could change the tax laws, the welfare laws and the social security laws to give tax breaks and financial incentives to unmarried couples who live together in sin. SATAN -- Now, you're talking, demons! Now you're talking! Alright, I'm reassigning all of you to North America for a blitz against the American family. By the time we finish with them, American families will have so few values that even the President of the United States will have sex outside of marriage and the citizens won't even blink. This meeting is adjourned. (all exit) ©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |