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GIVING3  3'?m1f Monologue: Giving, stewardship, materialism

In a recent sermon at church, the pastor started talking about
stewardship and giving... AGAIN.

I've heard these sermons so many times that I think I've got the
formula figured out. Pastors always use the word STEWARDSHIP
instead of the word GIVING when they want you to write a biggerÛ
check. Longer word... bigger check. Sounds logical to me. Why
else would the pastor keep talking about giving?!

Well, I thought I had the whole giving thing figured out until I
took my preschooler to McDonald's for a happy meal. And when I
asked her if I could taste one of her french fries, she said,
"NO. It's mine."

Well, immediately, I could feel the blood rushing to my face as
I weighed my options in anger. I could have just taken a french
fry by force. I'm bigger. I'm stronger.

But I decided against the strong arm approach. Perhaps the
little jerk could benefit from this lesson in selfishness.

So, immediately I came up with three retorts that would teach
the little brat a lesson.

(imitates, wags finger)

"You know, young lady, you would even have those french fries if
I hadn't bought them for you!"

Or how about this one?

(imitates, wags finger)

"You little ingrate, you wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for
me!"

Then I came up with the victim approach:

(imitates tearfully)

"It's... It's okay, my little pumpkin, you don't have to give up
any of your precious little french fries. Just remember, I'm the
only one who really loves you."

(harsh)

"And at the rate you're going, noone else ever will."

Then, I had second thoughts. I was hot under the collar. And
when I talk while I'm hot under the collar, I sometimes say
things that I don't mean. Or sometimes I say things too
forcefully. And it was just one lousy french fry. So, I decided
not to say anything.

After I cooled down awhile, I decided to think of what lessons
there might be in this incident for ME.

The first thing that came to mind was "I don't NEED that french
fry. Why was I making such a big deal about it?"

(tilts head)

I don't NEED that...

I don't NEED that...

Then, it struck me. God doesn't NEED anything from me. He's the
one who gave me everything I own. So, If God doesn't NEED
anything from me, why does the Bible speak about giving more
than it speaks of Heaven or Hell?

God is just like a mom. He's the provider. He doesn't need
anything, he's the giver in the relationship. When a mom asks
her child to share, she's teaching about generosity. And when
the child learns generosity, she learns what God is like.

So, when you hear the pastor talking about giving and
stewardship, think about the french fries in a Happy Meal.

©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
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http://www.fea.net/bobsnook  email: bobsnook@fea.net

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