BACK GOODFRI 3'2m0f Good Friday: Let's celebrate someone's death (based on a play by Kate Rothacker) FRED --- (enters, tired, holds neck) Man, what a week! I am so beat! (pushes elevator button) LARRY -- (enters, follows) Me too. I am ready for a cold one at Murphy's. (hoots) Thank God it's Friday. FRED --- Yeah. (snaps fingers) Oooo! That reminds me. (turns, runs back offstage) Hold the elevator, would you, Larry? LARRY -- (shouts) Don't worry, Fred, this elevator is so slow we could send out for pizza. FRED --- (reenters with printed pages in hand) My mom sent me an email. I printed it out but forgot to take it with me. I'm glad you said, "thank God it's Friday". LARRY -- What do you mean? FRED --- (points to pages) The subject on the email was "Good Friday". (scans pages) Hey, it's Good Friday today. LARRY -- (laughing) Hey, ANY Friday is a good Friday for me! FRED --- Yeah, me too. But my mom is a Christian now and she started going to this church and she's.... LARRY -- ...Don't tell me. She wants you to contribute to the building fund. Right? FRED --- No, she keeps sending me these (lifts pages) emails, saying she's praying for me. Listen to this. I'll bet she says it again. (reads) "Dear Freddy". She still calls me FREDDY. "I am praying for you." See what did I tell you? "Don't forget to celebrate Good Friday", she says. LARRY -- Alright! Let's celebrate the day you don't have to go to work for two whole days! It's PARTY time!!! (high-fives Fred) FRED --- That wasn't quite what Mom had in mind, but I'll drink to that. LARRY -- Good Friday. Hey, isn't that the day that the Catholics come back from church with a black smudge on their foreheads? FRED --- Nice try. That's Ash Wednesday. Good Friday is the day God died. LARRY -- You mean, Jesus, don't you? FRED --- Jesus IS God, (holds up pages) according to the Christians. (scans pages) LARRY -- (sarcastic) Well, sign me up for a religion that celebrates somebody kicking the bucket. FRED -- I know. It sounds a little morbid, doesn't it? She says "if it's God who pays the price, we don't have to work for our salvation." LARRY -- She obviously has never worked for Mackelroy. (points with thumb) FRED --- Mom says that because of Good Friday, Jesus bears our burdens for us. LARRY -- Maybe he can carry me home after Murphy's tonight? (laughs) FRED --- (laughs) LARRY -- You know I haven't even met your mom and I hate her already. FRED --- Why? LARRY -- Because all this God-talk makes me think of how I'm going to hate myself in the morning. FRED --- (reads) "After Good Friday, we are free from guilt." LARRY -- Is she talking about the same Christianity I'm talking about? Where is that elevator?! FRED --- (absent--mindedly, scanning pages) Patience is a virtue. LARRY -- I'm a little light on virtues. I'd make a terrible Christian. FRED --- Apparently, you don't need any. LARRY -- Any what? FRED --- Virtues. Mom says "men have been striving for centuries to get to heaven by being good enough. But man is basically sinful. He can never be good enough." LARRY -- Oh, that's comforting. That means nobody is gonna make it. FRED --- That's why Jesus died, she says. LARRY -- I don't get it. FRED --- So, we could be in God's presence without being good enough. Apparently, it's like we get to ride on his ticket. (ding) LARRY -- At last--here's the elevator! Time to party! (hoots, steps forward) FRED --- She says all I have to do to live in God's presence is accept that Jesus died for me... ...me personally. (ponders) LARRY -- All aboard the Murphy's train, Freddy, boy. FRED --- (looks up from pages) Oh, ah, you go on ahead. I'll... I have... something I have to take care of. LARRY -- Suit yourself. Oh, when you get to Murphy's I'll be the one with the lamp shade on my head. (exits) FRED --- (kneels, looks up to heaven) ©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |