BACK HATETALK 6'?m3f Hate crimes, hate speech, tolerance, inclusion JUDGE -- (enters wearing black robe, crosses to podium or judge's bench, pounds gavel) This court will come to order. (shuffles papers) My docket is missing. Where is my docket? PROSECUTOR -- (enters carrying an armful of legal briefs) I have the docket, Your Honor. We in the district attorney's office had to make some last-minute additions. (offers paper) JUDGE -- (takes paper, motions broadly to audience) Who are all these people in the gallery? I never have this many people for arraignments. Are you prosecuting a celebrity this morning? PROSECUTOR -- No, Your Honor. These people are all defendants who are up for arraignment this morning. JUDGE -- All of them? PROSECUTOR -- Yes, Your Honor. The new hate crime legislation took affect at midnight last night. JUDGE -- And you have this many violations already? PROSECUTOR -- Yes, Your Honor. We wanted to strike while the iron was hot. JUDGE -- Very well, let's have the first arraignment. (reads) The state versus Johnson at al. PROSECUTOR -- (offers legal brief) Here is the complaint, Your Honor. The charge is insightment. JUDGE -- Insightment? PROSECUTOR -- Yes, insightment to do grievous bodily harm. It's a violation of the new hate crime legislation against hate speech. JUDGE -- Who will be representing Mr Johnson and the fourteen other defendants in this case? DEFENSE -- (enters opposite) I will be representing ALL the defendants in the courtroom, Your Honor. JUDGE -- All of them!? DEFENSE -- Yes, Your Honor, all of them. PROSECUTOR -- Ambulance chaser. JUDGE -- Counselor! DEFENSE -- As a matter of fact, Your Honor, I will be taking all of these cases PRO BONO. PROSECUTOR -- Pro Bono?! JUDGE -- You mean, you'll be defending all of them? Free of charge?! DEFENSE -- Yes, Your Honor. The new hate crime statute is nothing more that an attack on our constitutional right to free speech. I will be appealing these cases all the way up to the Supreme Court. PROSECUTOR -- Your Honor, may I suggest that defense counsel should save his summation for the jury trial. JUDGE -- (flips through brief) I see that the defendants have stipulated to some of the accusations, Counselor? DEFENSE -- Yes, Your Honor, my clients do not deny that they have openly opposed abortion on demand. PROSECUTOR -- They also stipulated to calling abortion murder, Your Honor. DEFENSE -- Yes, they have. PROSECUTOR -- Then, I see no need for a trial. Have them plead guilty! JUDGE -- What plea do you enter, Counselor? DEFENSE -- My clients are willing to plead guilty if the prosecution can produce a linkage between the verbal opinions of my clients and ANY violence against abortion doctors or their clinics. JUDGE -- Counselor, can you provide any such linkage? PROSECUTOR -- Well, not directly. We know that clinics have been bombed and doctors have been killed because of Christian hate mongers like these. JUDGE -- In other words, you can't provide any linkage. PROSECUTOR -- Well, no. But the new statute doesn't require any linkage. All it requires is proof of hate speech. JUDGE -- Counselor? DEFENSE -- Your Honor, the pro-abortion people have no good arguments for killing innocent unborn babies, so their solution is to cut off debate by making it illegal to even talk out loud against abortion. PROSECUTOR -- The law is the law, Your Honor. JUDGE -- (scanning brief) Counsel is correct. According to the new statute, the state has met the burden of proof. No linkage is required. How do you plead? DEFENSE -- Not guilty, Your Honor. We ask for an early date. JUDGE -- Very well. Next Case. PROSECUTOR -- (offers legal brief) The state versus Smith et al. Same charges. Insightment to violence. JUDGE -- (paging) This complaint alleges insightment charges against twelve defendants for criticizing homosexuals and homosexuality. PROSECUTOR -- Christian hate mongers like these have caused gay bashing and even murder in the past, Your Honor. DEFENSE -- Your Honor, homosexual activists can't produce a single peer-reviewed research study showing that homosexuality is inherited or that homosexual behavior is anything but a personal choice. So, lacking any good arguments for their case, they want to silence the opposition. PROSECUTOR -- Maybe I should add YOUR name to the list of defendants. DEFENSE -- Can the prosecutor produce any linkage between my clients' opposition to an immoral lifestyle and actual violence against homosexuals? PROSECUTOR -- No linkage is required by the new statute against hate-speech, Your Honor. JUDGE -- How do you plead? DEFENSE -- Not guilty, Your Honor. We ask for an early date. JUDGE -- Very well. Next Case. PROSECUTOR -- (offers legal brief) The state versus Jones et al. Same charges. JUDGE -- What's this? You're charging Alcoholics Anonymous with hate crimes?! PROSECUTOR -- Everybody knows that A.A. is actively vocal in their opposition to drunkenness, Your Honor. Can violence against drunks be far behind? JUDGE -- You've got to be kidding! PROSECUTOR -- The new statute against hate-speech does not require a linkage to actual crimes of violence, Your Honor. JUDGE -- (sigh) How do you plead? DEFENSE -- Not guilty, Your Honor. We ask for an early date. JUDGE -- You're filling up my calendar, Counselor! DEFENSE -- Sorry, Your Honor. JUDGE -- Next Case. PROSECUTOR -- (offers legal brief) The state versus Davidson et al. Same charges. JUDGE -- What's this? You're charging twenty-five church pastors and Bible study teachers for openly opposing adultery?! PROSECUTOR -- The state wants to send a clear message to anyone who would contemplate violence against an adulterer, Your Honor. DEFENSE -- I don't see how the gospel of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control could produce violence, do you, Your Honor? JUDGE -- Well, actually,... PROSECUTOR -- No linkage is required by the law. It only requires proof of hate speech. And the defendants have admitted that they oppose adultery publicly. JUDGE -- (sigh) How do you plead? DEFENSE -- Not guilty, Your Honor. We ask for an early date. JUDGE -- Next case. PROSECUTOR -- (offers legal brief) The state versus Whitmore et al. Same charges. JUDGE -- Wait a minute! This complaint lists ME as a codefendant! It also lists every judge in this courthouse! PROSECUTOR -- Yes, Your Honor, by pronouncing guilt upon defendants, you insight others to violence against them. JUDGE -- That's it! That does it! All these hate-speech cases are dismissed. (drops briefs over the front of the bench) PROSECUTOR -- You can't do that! JUDGE -- You're right. I'll allow one hate speech case to go to trial. PROSECUTOR -- Which one? JUDGE -- I am charging YOU (points to Prosecutor) with hate speech! PROSECUTOR -- ME?! JUDGE -- Yes. By openly opposing me and telling me that I can't dismiss these cases, you insighted violence against judges. (pushes Prosecutor toward exit) Bailiff, put this hate monger in jail! ©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |