BACK

LAWYERS  3'2m2f Marriage, communication, conflict resolution

(scene: two chairs side-by-side facing audience)

HER -- (enters, crosses to chairs, looks at watch, looks around,
paces, looks at watch, sits)

HIM -- (enters opposite, crosses to chairs, sits)

(neither character makes eye contact)

HER -- Aren't you going to apologize for being late?

HIM -- I'm here, aren't I? Do you want to talk or not?

HER -- Alright. Let's talk.

HIM -- Fine.

HER -- We never talk anymore.

HIM -- (beckons His lawyer with finger)

HIS -- (enters in business suit, carrying briefcase) Objection.
Exaggeration. The fact that my client is here to talk disproves 
the allegation NEVER. Please rephrase the communication.

HER -- Alright. To me it seems like we hardly ever talk anymore.

HIM -- I'll tell you why. Every time we talk you nag me.

HER -- (beckons her lawyer with finger)

HERS -- (enters wearing business suit, carrying briefcase)
Objection. Exaggeration. There are half a dozen incidents within
the past week at which my client conversed without nagging.
Please rephrase the communication.

HIM -- Alright. It SEEMS like every time you talk to me, you nag
me.

HER -- Well, you're so immature. You never do anything without
being reminded at least a half dozen times.

HIM -- (beckons)

HIS -- Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence. Please rephrase
the communication.

HER -- Alright. It SEEMS like I have to remind you more than
once to do things that you should do without reminding.

HIM -- Oh, like YOU don't forget to do things.

HER -- (beckons)

HERS -- Objection. Non-responsive.

HIM -- Alright. I'll admit that I put off doing some of the
things around the house that I've promised to do. But I get
exhausted at work. I need to rest when I get home. You know, I
wouldn't have to work so hard if you didn't spend all our money.

HER -- (beckons)

HERS -- Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence. Please
rephrase the communication.

HIM -- Alright. I think you could be a little more careful about
how you spend our hard-earned money.

HER -- I'd like to see you do it any better!

HIM -- (beckons)

HIS -- Objection. Non-responsive. Please rephrase the 
communication.

HER -- Alright. I'll admit that I sometimes spend money without
giving it too much thought. And I'll admit that sometimes I
spend money on frivolous things just to get your attention.

HIM -- Why do you think you have to get my attention like that?

HER -- Because sometimes it's the only way I can get you to look 
up from the newspaper.

HIM -- Oh, Honey! You really do want to talk, don't you?

HER -- I'm sorry for the harsh words!

(Him and Her hold hands and look into each other's eyes)

HIS and HERS -- Objection.

HIM -- Get lost! We'll handle this on our own.

HIS -- (exiting with Hers) I'll send you my bill.

HERS -- What was that all about?! I thought we were doing a good 
job.

HIM -- Oh, Honey, I'm sorry. I've just let things get out of
control. There's no reason to let things get so... adversarial.

HER -- (exiting opposite with Him) No. I just want to talk...
the way we used to.

©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.fea.net/bobsnook  email: bobsnook@fea.net

BACK