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PEACE    9'1m1f Forgiveness, peace, conflict, anger management

(sound cue: gun fire and bullets ricocheting)

MARVIN -- (mild mannered, slightly built, city dweller, stands
offstage and waves a long stick with a white rag tied on the
end) Cease fire! Cease fire!

(sound cue: gunfire stops)

JIMMYSUE -- (rough, tough hillbilly, dressed in buckskins, pokes
head out) You all giving up, Hatfields?

MARVIN -- (pokes head out) We'd like to negotiate a peaceful
resolution to the hostilities. Are you McCoys willing to
negotiate?

JIMMYSUE -- You sure do talk funny. The Hatfields don't use them
big words. Are you their lawyer or something?

MARVIN -- My name is Marvin Hatfield. Can we negotiate?

JIMMYSUE -- I don't know what that means. But if you wants to
talk, we can talk.

MARVIN -- Good. I'm going to leave my weapons and come out
unarmed. You're not going to shoot me, are you?

JIMMYSUE -- No funny business.

MARVIN -- No funny business. (steps into full view, hands raise)
Look, I'm unarmed. (turns 360) See? No weapons. (crosses to C)

JIMMYSUE -- Alright, I'm coming out. But if you so much as
twitch, the McCoys is all crack shots and they'll drop you like
a bad habit.

MARVIN -- The McCoys have nothing to fear from the Hatfields.
Come on out. Let's negotiate.

JIMMYSUE -- (steps cautiously to C, as if on a mine field,
looking left and right, with one hand forward, the other hand on
a large hunting knife in sheath) I left my guns back there. But
if you so much as blink, (pulls out hunting knife) I'll slit you
open and leave you as food for the crows.

MARVIN -- Please, put away the knife. I came to make peace.

JIMMYSUE -- You got peace. (puts knife in sheath) Now what do
you want?

MARVIN -- What we have is a cease fire. Peace is not merely the
absence of fighting.

JIMMYSUE -- You sure do talk funny. Even if you're a Hatfield,
there's no way you're from around here.

MARVIN -- Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Marvin Hatfield.
(extends hand)

JIMMYSUE -- (grabs Marvin's hand, twists it behind his back, arm
around his neck, speaks over his shoulder) You're lucky I'm not
feeding your gizzard to the birds, Mister. What do you got in
your hand there?

MARVIN -- Nothing. (holds up hand, turns it over) See? I was
just going to shake hands with you.

JIMMYSUE -- Oh. (letting him go) No McCoy ever shook hands with
no Hatfield, far as I know.

MARVIN -- Well, if we're going to negotiate a lasting peace, I
think now would be a good time to start, don't you?

JIMMYSUE -- (looks around) Don't suppose there'd be another way
we could do this, is there?

MARVIN -- The first step to a lasting peace is a true commitment
to peace. A hand-shake would be an excellent sign that you're
committed to peace. (extends hand)

JIMMYSUE -- (looks around) Just in case this peace thing don't
work out, I don't want you telling ever body that Jimmysue McCoy
shook the hand of a Hatfield. (grabs Marvin's hand)

MARVIN -- (in pain) That's a very firm hand-shake you have
there, Jimmysue. It's nice to meet you.

JIMMYSUE -- (pulls back hand, wipes it obviously on her shirt)
Okay, you wanted peace. You got peace. Now let's go home. (turns
to leave)

MARVIN -- Oh. No! The handshake is only the beginning.

JIMMYSUE -- (turns back) It is?

MARVIN -- Yes, there are three more steps we must take to assure
a lasting peace.

JIMMYSUE -- You sure talk funny. You're not from around here are
you?

MARVIN -- My papa, Jethro Hatfield, sent me away to boarding
school when I was a small boy. He was afraid I'd get killed if I
stayed around here.

JIMMYSUE -- I can see why he sent you away, boy.

MARVIN -- Why?

JIMMYSUE -- You're puny.

MARVIN -- Yes, well, let's move on to the next step in the peace
process.

JIMMYSUE -- You're a runt.

MARVIN -- I'm going to ignore your obvious attempts to rile me
to anger, Jimmysue, because I have a firm commitment to peace.
Can we move on to the next step in the peace process?

JIMMYSUE -- I'm listening.

MARVIN -- The next step is to count the cost of hostility.

JIMMYSUE -- That's easy. All you have to do is count the head
stones in the McCoy family grave yard.

MARVIN -- I don't want to down play the body count, Jimmysue.
There are dead bodies on both sides of the Hatfield-McCoy feud.
What I need to have you look at is what it cost you personally.

JIMMYSUE -- That's easy too. I went through six husbands in five
weeks.

MARVIN -- Six husbands in five weeks?

JIMMYSUE -- Yup. You Hatfields have a way of putting your cross
hairs on the McCoy that happened to just marry me. Then, I'd
have to up and marry someone else. Fortunately, I had lots of
cousins. We keep it in the family that way.

MARVIN -- What I was referring to was the day-to-day cost of
being in conflict. For instance, my father sent me away to
boarding school. Isolation is one of the most common side
effects of conflict.

JIMMYSUE -- I know what that's like. People in town is afraid to
talk to the McCoys for fear the Hatfields will gun them down.

MARVIN -- Now you're getting the idea. What you want to do is
ask yourself, if you had to start all over, knowing how isolated
you'd be, would you have done it the same way?

JIMMYSUE -- Not a chance.

MARVIN -- Me either. Now, the next step is asking yourself
whether the killing solved the original disagreement?

JIMMYSUE -- What disagreement?

MARVIN -- You don't remember why the Hatfields and McCoys
started feuding in the first place?

JIMMYSUE -- It's been going on longer than my papa could
remember. I don't think anybody remembers how it started.

MARVIN -- So, we're all suffering the loss of loved ones and
isolation, but there's no real disagreement?

JIMMYSUE -- Nope. Long as I can remember the feud was "you
killed one of ours, so we kill one of yours".

MARVIN -- Well, then that brings us to the next step toward a
lasting peace. We have to confess to each other the sins we've
committed toward each other.

JIMMYSUE -- Our side don't got none that I'm aware of.

MARVIN -- Then let me start off. I know my cousin Lemule blew up
your outhouse while your grandfather was taking his daily
constitutional.

JIMMYSUE -- (pulls knife) Why, I ought to slit your gizzard for
that.

MARVIN -- It wasn't me, JimmySue. It was my cousin Lemule. Would
you like to confess your family's part in any of the deaths?

JIMMYSUE -- Nothing to confess.

MARVIN -- Then let me give you a reminder. Your uncle Thaddeus
and his two sons.

JIMMYSUE -- (puts knife away) Uncle Thaddeus and two of my
cousins, one of which was married to me at the time, was just
going for a ride in the country.

MARVIN -- Are you interested in a lasting peace or not?

JIMMYSUE -- Alright, I'll admit that them boys all had a bottle
in their hand. What's wrong with drinking a little?

MARVIN -- What was in the bottles?

JIMMYSUE -- Huh?

MARVIN -- I asked what was in the bottles?

JIMMYSUE -- Okay, so it weren't nothing to drink in them
bottles.

MARVIN -- It was gasoline in the bottles, wasn't it?

JIMMYSUE -- Could have been they was looking to refuel a pickup
truck.

MARVIN -- And wasn't there a rag stuffed into the neck of each
bottle which was lit on fire?

JIMMYSUE -- Yeah, so what? That don't give the Hatfields a right
to start shooting at them.

MARVIN -- Where was the car when the Hatfields started shooting?

JIMMYSUE -- (looks down, covers mouth) On the Hatfields lawn.

MARVIN -- Excuse me?

JIMMYSUE -- I said, they was on the Hatfields' front lawn.
Alright, I'll confess, our boys went to the Hatfields to burn
the place down. But that was in retaliation for splattering
grandpa and the most of what was under him all over the wood
shed.

MARVIN -- It seems to me that my cousin Lemule was retaliating
for the death of my Uncle Obediah.

JIMMYSUE -- That was an accident.

MARVIN -- You blew up the bridge as he was crossing the river.

JIMMYSUE -- (laughs) Nothing left but fish food.

MARVIN -- Jimmysue, are you interested in peace or not?

JIMMYSUE -- It was an accident, I tell you. Them boys was
replacing the bridge. We couldn't help it if Obediah Hatfield
was...

MARVIN -- Jimmysue.

JIMMYSUE -- Alright. I confess. It was cold blooded murder. They
was all cold blooded murders.

MARVIN -- Ours were too. Now that we've confessed. The next step
in the peace process is to establish new rules of conflict,
unless it's alright with you that you keep losing husbands.

JIMMYSUE -- Ain't no more husbands to lose. All the McCoys is
dead, except me. (gasps, steps quickly around behind Marvin,
puts a choke hold on him, pulls knife) I probably shouldn't of
said that til we was through negotiating. Now you know. You
Hatfields finally got us McCoys outnumbered. You signal to the
rest of the Hatfields and I'll slit you from ear to ear.

MARVIN -- Jimmysue, I'm not going to signal anybody. I probably
shouldn't be telling you this when you have a knife to my
throat, but I'm the last of the Hatfields too.

JIMMYSUE -- You're just saying that so I'll let you go. Then,
one of your sharpshooters will pick me off.

MARVIN -- First of all, I meant what I said, Jimmysue, I'm the
only one left. Second, I am committed to peace. Killing is not
an option for me anymore. If I have a disagreement with you, I
don't care how many guns we have on each side, I will come to
you and we'll talk it out.

JIMMYSUE -- I don't know. If I let you go, you Hatfields is only
one McCoy away from winning the war.

MARVIN -- The war is over for me, Jimmysue. No more killing.
Even if there were a dozen people over there with high powered
rifles, I would not let them shoot you. What you have to decide
now is whether you want to kill the only remaining Hatfield or
if you are really committed to peace.

JIMMYSUE -- I'm no fourflusher. I keep my word. If you die, it's
not going to be by my hand. (cautiously removes her arm from his
neck) It's not that I don't trust you, Hatfield.

MARVIN -- Call me Marvin.

JIMMYSUE -- It's not that I don't trust you, Marvin. But just to
be on the safe side, you're staying between me and them until
these here negotiations is over. (puts away knife)

MARVIN -- That's fair enough. Now let's practice conflict
resolution.

JIMMYSUE -- What's that?

MARVIN -- It's the final step to a lasting peace. Suppose my
goat gets into your garden and eats all your sweet peas. What do
you do?

JIMMYSUE -- I pull out my three fifty-seven magnum and blow his
head off.

MARVIN -- Wrong answer.

JIMMYSUE -- Oh, I suppose you got a better solution.

MARVIN -- You bring the goat back to me and tell me what he did.
Then I pay you for the lost vegetables. That way I keep my goat,
your losses are covered and we avoid conflict.

JIMMYSUE -- Sounds fair enough. Suppose my dog tears up your
chicken coop and eats a couple of your chickens?

MARVIN -- I bring the dog back to you and tell you the damage
he's done. Then we sit down and come up with a fair settlement.
If you're committed to peace, JimmySue, there's always a
peaceful solution.

JIMMYSUE -- I sure do like the way you talk, boy. I suppose you
don't slap around your women folk much, either, do you?

MARVIN -- I've never been married.

JIMMYSUE -- Would you like to be?

MARVIN -- Excuse me?

JIMMYSUE -- I ain't had a husband in near four days. I'll even
settle for a puny little runt like you.

MARVIN -- Yes, well, I guess we've completed our negotiations.
(sneaks backward) I'll just be going now.

JIMMYSUE -- (pursues) What's your hurry, boy? I kind of like
this here conflict resolution. Let's talk about my hogs getting
into your radishes.

(both exit)

©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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