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SPENDER  3'3m0f Money management, priorities, family values

TIM -- (enters, looks at casket, pats the body lovingly)

Poor Bob. He was so young.

(Crosses to podium, signs his name to the guest book)

RAY -- (enters, looks at casket, pats the body lovingly)

Poor Bob. He was so young.

(Crosses to podium, signs his name to the guest book)

TIM -- (Notices Ray, extends his hand)

We're all going to miss him. I'm Tim Smith, Bob's accountant.

RAY -- (Shakes his hand)

Ray Pritzger. Bob was on his way to an appointment with me when
he....

BOTH - He was so young.

BOB -- (Enters, golf club over shoulder, views the body)

Did a good job on the lips, but my cheeks never looked like
that!

RAY -- He was a terrific salesman.

BOB -- They must be talking about me. I could sell ice cubes to
Eskimos. (crosses to them)

RAY -- He could sell ice cubes to Eskimos.

BOB -- See? Say something nice about me, Tim.

TIM -- He was one of the most generous people I've ever met.

BOB -- See? I was generous too.

TIM -- He threw his money around like a drunken sailor.

BOB -- Drunken sailor?!

TIM -- The Bible says to give, but ....

RAY -- I know what you mean. I personally received several
"gifts" from Bob on the eighteenth green. I tell ya, between the
bets he lost and the impulse purchases he made in the pro shop,
he rarely left the golf course with money in his pocket.

BOB -- It was all luck. I was bound to win one of these days
with my gorgeous gold swing. Tell him about my gorgeous swing
golf Ray. (swings club)

TIM -- That's Bob. I tried to reminded him that the Bible says
to plan your giving and your spending, but he never....

BOB -- A picture book swing.... (quits swinging club) I wrote a
budget once.

TIM -- I take that back. He did write a budget ONCE.

BOB -- See? Tell him about my picture book swing, Ray.

TIM -- .... but after ignoring his budget for two weeks, he was
so overspent that he threw the budget it the waste basket.

BOB -- Who needs a budget anyway. With a beautiful swing like
this. (swings club) Why didn't I ever turn pro?

RAY -- He had a terrible hook off the tee.... And he couldn't
sink a six-foot putt to save his life.

BOB -- Okay, so maybe golf isn't my game. Tell Ray about my 50
foot sloop, Tim.

TIM -- Did Bob ever tell you about his money-sucking sailing
boat?

BOB -- It's was an america's Cup contender!

TIM -- You know, the Bible says to record all your expenses. If
Bob had just recorded his expenses for the boat alone, he'd have
had much better control of his money.

BOB -- I'd have sure given Dennis Connors a run for his money.

TIM -- It wiped out his savings account. Linda and the boys will
have to move into a small apartment because there was nothing
left to pay taxes and legal fees.

BOB -- Them Aussies wouldn't stand a chance with that boat.

RAY -- Gee, I never heard him mention a sail boat before.

BOB -- Cast off the bow line! Cast off the stern line!

TIM -- Probably because he ran it aground twice.

BOB -- Let's talk about my new car.

RAY -- Huh, Huh. That sounds like the Bob I Knew.

BOB -- It's a BMW.

RAY -- Bob really enjoyed his money, just like the Bible says he
should.

BOB -- 733csi

TIM -- You read the Bible too?

BOB -- Best Beemer on the road.

RAY -- Yeah, it's the only way I can keep my life in balance.

BOB -- Well, if you guys are gonna talk about the Bible, I'm
going back to the country club. (exits)

RAY -- I always encouraged Bob use the Bible in his life more,
but he just never took the time for it.

TIM -- (exiting) Good ole Bob. Where do you suppose he is now?

RAY -- (exiting) In a sand trap.


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