BACK TIME 4'1m1f Dying to know more about time management BOB -- (enters briskly, carrying daytimer, goes up to desk) Hi, I'm here to see.... Say, who AM I here to see? SUE -- Well, what does it say in your appointment book? BOB -- (opens daytimer, looks up in confusion) Nothing. It's blank. SUE -- I'm sorry, the boss doesn't see anyone without an appointment. What did you say your name was, sir? BOB -- The name's Johnson, Bob Johnson.... If I don't have an appointment, then what am I doing here at.... Gee, my watch stopped. What's going on here? My watch is stopped and my appointment book is completely blank after 10am today. I don't have another appointment.... for the rest of the year. SUE -- For the rest of eternity, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Robert Edward Johnson, formerly of Mission Viejo, California. BOB -- Formerly? I still live in Mission.... Say, wait a minute, am I .... SUE -- As a door nail, Mr. Johnson. BOB -- Now I remember! It was those stairs. I was late for an appointment with Pritzger at Consolidated. I didn't want to wait for that slow elevator, so I decided to RUN up two fights of stairs. SUE -- Says here you died of a massive heart attack, Mr Johnson. BOB -- I always intended to exercise regularly, but I just never seemed to have the time for it. SUE -- You'll have plenty of time for exercise here, Mr Johnson. As you have already noticed, we've cleared your calendar for you. Would you prefer walking, running, swimming or high or low impact aerobics? BOB -- Linda loves aerobics. Does it three or four days a week. She's probably at an aerobics class right now. SUE -- No, Mr. Johnson, our computer show your wife at your lawyer's office at this moment. BOB -- That's my Linda! Always so unpredictable. I'm gonna miss her.... What's she doing at my lawyer's offices. SUE -- Filing for divorce. BOB -- Divorce! I had no idea! SUE -- She says "He's never home. Always at this meeting or that. When he does come home, he's too tired for me or the boys" BOB -- I'm a very busy man! SUE -- Not anymore. BOB -- Well, those meetings were very important! SUE -- Not anymore. BOB -- A man's gotta make a living! SUE -- Not anymore. BOB -- We've got a big house and a nice car. SUE -- Not anymore. BOB -- We've got a 50-foot sloop tied up at Dana Point Harbor. SUE -- Did you take your boys sailing? BOB -- I was going to take them out on Saturday. SUE -- Before we cleared your schedule, your calendar for Saturday, read "Pro AM, Pebble Beach, 11am tee off." Were you going sailing on a golf course, Mr Johnsom? BOB -- I've waited for four years to play golf with the PGA pros. This year my company is a sponsor, so I get to play with the big boys! SUE -- What about the little boys, Mr Johnson? BOB -- Well, the boat will always be there, we can go sailing any time. SUE -- Not anymore. BOB -- Alright! You've made your point. I was too busy to play with my kids. SUE -- And spend time with your wife. BOB -- And spend time with my wife. SUE -- And exercise regularly. BOB -- And exercise regularly. SUE -- Well, you won't have time for those other things here but you will have time to exercise. Did you prefer walking, running, swimming or high or low impact aerobics Mr Johnson? BOB -- How about golf? I always thought heaven would be a million golf courses with no sand traps. A hand-carved ivory driver. A platinum pitching wedge. A solid gold putter. SUE -- The boss will see you now. (gestures off stage) BOB -- Gee, I... I've never done this before. How do I address him, "your highness", "your majesty", "your grace"? SUE -- Mr Lucifer will suffice. BOB -- Lucifer!? As in the... you know what? SUE -- Our records show that in addition to taking no time for your family nor for your health, you spent very little time in church, and you certainly made no commitment to your creator. BOB -- Wull, I was going to do that as soon as my life was a little more calm. SUE -- It's too late, Mr Johnson, I'm afraid you let the urgent things in your life crowd out the important things. You are a perfect candidate for our management training program. Mr Lucifer will meet you out on the first tee to discuss it with you. BOB -- There's a golf course? (exits excitedly, reenters) All that's out there is a huge pile of sand. SUE -- Welcome to the country club, Mr Johnson. ©2007 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook email: bobsnook@fea.net BACK |